Here are the “rules“.
If you’d like to see the full Marvel March Cover Solicits head on over to CBR.
Come one, come all, to our bi-monthly installment of DRUNK COVER SOLICITS IN THREE SENTENCES OR LESS!
So again, these are a bit on the late side but here they are…fresh for the new year in all their non-glory. The thing is…I gotta be honest…Marvel has cleaned up their game considerably. And I know you want to be sad about it, cause let’s face it, making fun of shit is fun. But seriously, there’s not A LOT to make fun of lately. The difference in Marvel’s covers now, from a year ago…it’s pretty remarkable. They are going on five or six months now of having covers so non-offensive that it’s pretty tough to give them a hard time. So #1 – My hat is officially off to them and #2 – how can I take credit for this change?
I still make plenty of fun of the covers below…but there are only 26 covers to DC’s 52, and that’s straight up because there’s just not as much to say on the whole. And I appreciate the hell out of that change, but I also have to admit that on the whole the covers are more boring too. Would I rather have offensive than boring? Well, for Drunk Solicits, yes, the answer is yes, for life? No, no, I’d rather have just about anything than offensive crap in comics. But still…it’s very interesting this development in covers over the last few months.

AGE OF APOCALYPSE #1. All the above said, let’s start with something slightly offensive. But not really. I mean this is such a cartoonish and exaggerated drawing style it’s hard to take it TOO seriously. It doesn’t have the same effect of looking at something super realistic. That said, Jean is wearing some Starfire level shit there and it’s just fucking ridiculous. C’mon comics, don’t be a douchebag.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 681. Is Johnny wearing his Future Foundation pajamas for this mission? He looks like an idiot.
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