You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2007.
I didn’t actually take a bite as it had onions in it (yuck! who puts onions in tuna fish? – apparently our diner that’s who!) but it looked just terrible, kind of greasy and like it would just lay down in the pit of your stomach and never digest. Not at all like it looked in the movie, all crunchy and light and delicious.
Anyway, onwards…towards 2008…a year in which I will do everything I said I would do last year. A year in which I will finish my second book (and third! – why stop at two?!). A year in which I will magically become thinner while still happily eating whenever I am hungry. A year in which an agent and publisher will magically appear for me (and will of course want to sign and publish me). A year in which money will come to me easily and leave me never. A year in the which the world will discover my genius…and instantly brand me an overnight sensation, blithely ignoring the fact that I have been toiling in obscurity for years…
What about you guys? Any insane out of control hopes, dreams, and, I hate the word but here it is… “resolutions” for 2008?
My only real true resolution (though I still hold on to those wild hopes and dreams) is that I don’t have a crappy New Years Eve…it is such a lame holiday, built up with too much fantasy and desperation and drama, just waiting in the wings for you to have a lousy night.
Adam and I plan to get out early tomorrow/today to see There Will Be Blood (can’t wait!) and then hope to try a restaurant I’ve been dying to try called The Mermaid Inn (they appear to have delicious lobster rolls – which I adore – what better way to end a year?) and if there is time, finally checking out The Museum of Natural History, which I have been heinously ignoring going on nearly three years here in the city. The ‘Mythic Creatures’ exhibit ends in January, so there is no more time to waste. We’ll probably end up at midnight the same as usual, in the apartment warm and cozy, Adam watching me down champagne and getting a late start on the first thanks to too much of it. But that’s not such a bad tradition I suppose.
What about you…hopes, dreams, resolutions…or just plans for the “big night”?
Here it is, what you’ve all been waiting for…the top 25 movies of Kelly’s Top 100 Movies Of All Time!
If you want to see numbers 26 – 100, check out here, here, and here. And if you must know why I even bothered with this list in the first place, read more here.
But first, let me give you some movies I LOVE that came so close to the top 100 but just didn’t quite make the cut. It was painful to leave them behind (and this is harder than it looks, I swear). I honestly feel like watching all 100, plus the ones I’m about to list all over again, to see if my list is really accurate, because it really seems to depend on my mood…
Anyway, here are some movies that fell just short: Personal Velocity (2002); EXistenZ (1999); You Can Count On Me (2000); 12 Monkeys (1995); Magnolia (1999); Sunshine (2007); Little Children (2006); Kicking And Screaming (1995); Far From Heaven (2002); Good Night And Good Luck (2005); The Motorcycle Diaries (2004); Ratcatcher (1999); Imitation Of Life (1959); Mr. Smith Goes To Washington (1939); Stranger Than Fiction (2006); Leaving Las Vegas (1995); Lovely And Amazing (2001); and Kids (1995). It was brutal eliminating these…maybe under further review they’ll be readmitted next year…
In the meantime, here are the top 25:
025. Strictly Ballroom (1992)
024. Gosford Park (2001)
023. Being John Malkovich (1999)
022. The Unbearable Lightness Of Being (1988 )
021. The Graduate (1967)
020. Half Nelson (2006)
019. Lost In Translation (2003)
018. The Ice Storm (1997)
017. Unbreakable (2000)
016. Zodiac (2007)
015. 8 1/2 (1963)
014. Fight Club (1999)
013. Buffalo 66 (1998 )
012. Dangerous Liasons (1988 )
011. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)
010. Manhattan (1979)
009. Stealing Beauty (1996)
008. Cool Hand Luke (1967)
007. City of God (2002)
006. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
005. The Squid And The Whale (2005)
004. 28 Days Later (2002)
003. Sense & Sensibility (1995)
002. Run Lola Run (1998 )
001. Annie Hall (1977)
Boy, this is a really true one. I should mention that Adam never wants me to sleep on the couch, but I take longer to cool off and longer to “get over it” so I usually sleep out there with a gloom and doom attitude which only serves to piss Adam off more…which is probably a little bit of the reason I do it too.
The reality is that I just have trouble sleeping next to someone when things are really truly going awry, it kind of seems like a lie and I’m not good at it. We’re getting better though. We’ve definitely learned it’s better to fix things immediately rather than sleeping on it. If I sleep on it I tend to get even angrier, rather than cooling off…which is eternally frustrating for both of us, but mostly Adam 
Sidenote: I think almost every comic this week used the tag CRAPTASTIC, which is a word I love, but it makes me feel like these comics have possibly been downers…I’ll try to lighten ‘em up for next week…promise!
You know, I did some research on the term “blacklist” and found that it really never did seem to have anything to do with segregation and black v. white and the negative connotations that I assumed might have been associated with it, but I still feel pretty uncomfortable using it. It just seems unnecessary. Do we really need yet another little subliminal little message telling us that white is “approved” and “good” and black is “bad” and “unapproved”. For me, no.
Unfortunately I am forced to use the white list because if I don’t then certain necessary emails get caught in the filter, so I’ve been using that so I don’t end up getting in trouble by missing important emails, but my black list is completely blank. I just pretend it doesn’t exist, and if I get more spam because of it (I certainly do) then so be it.
Also of note is that I have taken to referring to the “white list” in my mind as “the happy fun good list”…perhaps over the years I can forget what it was originally called…you think?
Okay, let’s be real clear, before people start throwing tomatoes at me. I have no problem with people being religious and I have no problem with faith. One of the great things about this country (there are a few great things left – I think/hope) is that we can all decide what we believe. And just because I have chosen to be an athiest does not mean I do not respect other people’s choices to have faith. We all go through things in our lives that lead us down certain paths, when I’m feeling all “destiny-y” I like to think we end up on those paths for specific reasons. To be completely honest I am often envious of the faith other people have, and the first time that I lose someone heartbreakingly critical to my life, I’m sure I am going to wish more than anything that I believed in God, because I have seen that faith be an unbelievable source of comfort and strength to others and I don’t know where I’m going to get that kind of strength and comfort without faith.
So this comic is NOT about disrespecting religion…no matter what that religion may be.
What this comic IS about, is my frustration and anger at the machine that has become organized religion. Religion that thinks itself arrogant enough to tell its followers what to think, what to watch, and how to react to things. A religion should be confident enough in the faith and intelligence of its people that it can let them make up their own minds about what they like. I have a very low tolerance for what large organized religion has become, which is basically yet another version of corrupt corporate America. And I do believe that the machine that is corporate America and the machine that organized religion has become are on both sides more corrupt than any of us know or would be comfortable with.
We’re all smart enough to be educating ourselves and making up our own minds without hitler-esque entities coming in and telling us what to do.
That will still probably make some of you mad. Hopefully not those of you that are actual “devoted readers” of my blog
Anyway, I know it seems like poor timing for an “anti-organized religion” post, but strangely to me, it seemed like exactly the right time.
I actually got off the hook pretty lightly this year, which felt kind of wrong, and only wrapped maybe a dozen presents that weren’t from me. This is good because every year my body enjoys being cramped up on the floor for a couple hours less and less. Although that makes me feel as if I should ALWAYS volunteer, because if I don’t like doing it for my body’s sake, how must my parents feel.
Anyway, for those of you celebrating Christmas, Merry Christmas to you. For those of you celebrating something else, but having Christmas off since we live in America which loves to really only recognize and celebrate Judeo-Christian holidays (and let’s face it, mostly the latter part of that word only) - enjoy the well deserved break, assuming you get one, and if you don’t then an extra Season’s Greetings, because it sucks to work when everyone else is lying around eating too much and watching bad holiday programming.
Join me on my 2007 countdown to Kelly’s Top 100 Movies of all time. See numbers 51-75 and 76-100, and read about why I decided to tackle this in the first place here. Off we go…
050. The Godfather II (1974)
049. Schindler’s List (1993)
048. Raging Bull (1980)
047. The Big Lebowski (1998 )
046. The Godfather (1972)
045. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
044. The Piano (1993)
043. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
042. Pulp Fiction (1994)
041. Office Space (1999)
040. The Last Picture Show (1971)
039. Roshomon (1950)
038. Network (1976)
037. The Station Agent (2003)
036. 2001: A Space Odessey (1968 )
035. Bonnie And Clyde (1967)
034. Happiness (1998 )
033. Dogville (2003)
032. No Country For Old Men (2007)
031. Monster’s Ball (2001)
030. Belle De Jour (1967)
029. The Lives Of Others (2006)
028. Taxi Driver (1976)
027. The Last Tango In Paris (1972)
026. Gone With The Wind (1939)
Several people won multiple years in a row, the IT guy, a really great guy, won a the major prize last year (ironically, a computer) and then again this year won an Ipod Nano. The receptionist, a really great girl, won a stereo last year and a digital camera this year. I don’t think anyone really minded about those duplicate wins. But when an exec, one of the highest paid people at a company wins four years in a row and doesn’t turn down the prize any of those years? People start to get grumbly.
Sadly I have never won. In fact only one person has ever won from our little sister company and that was a guest of one of our staff, he won an ipod shuffle last year. It was exciting to feel we were even getting remotely close to being able to win…
#50. The Session. Aaron Petrovich. Fiction Novella. 2.5 Stars
I’m too stupid to read this book. It’s partly my fault, and I partly blame the back cover.
The reality is that the book is written in a kind of stage play type style like Beckett’s Waiting For Godot (although there are no character names followed by a colon, so you have to pay even closer attention to know who is speaking). I have read and enjoyed Godot, but can’t claim to be a super-fan. It’s just not accessible enough to me. I cannot connect to the characters and, for me, that is always the most important thing when I’m reading. That is obviously not Beckett’s goal in Godot and that’s not Petrovich’s goal in Session, but in the case of Session, I was seriously lead astray by the back cover (which is why I usually do not read them and will now go back to my promise to never read them again). Here’s what the back cover says,
“Funny, frantic, and with a subversive intelligence, Aaron Petrovich’s Keaton-esque heroes, Detectives Smith and Smith, stumble upon a bizarre new religion while following the trail of a murdered mathematician’s missing organs. Their investigation to discover the truth – about the mathematician, the men and women who may have eaten him, and ultimately the nature of truth, sanity, and identity – leads them into a lunatic asylum they may never leave”.
AWESOME right? Yeah, no. I got maybe a tenth of that from reading the book. Really, I’m lucky if I got a tenth of that. If I had not read the back cover I would have had no idea that was what this was supposed to be about. This book was almost entirely inaccessible to me. I could connect to nothing and I could follow little. I was expecting a narrative of some sort due to the back cover and found no narrative at all.
I agree with part of the back cover, as below the synopsis is says that “Petrovich elevates rapid fire banter to a hysterical musical litany that carries the detectives, and the reader, right along with it”. The writing was kind of brilliant, and I did feel compelled forward, driven by the two characters dialogue with eachother. It was fascinating, and if I was smarter perhaps I would have gotten the point as well, but I’m afraid in the end I’m just not smart enough for it.
I’m giving it 2.5 stars because I suspect it is quite brilliant, and there is no doubt it is compelling and well written, and I can’t penalize it too heavily just because I’m not intelligent enough to “get it”. So I’m going to give it 2.5 stars for now, and plan to re-read it someday, preferable when I’ve become a more intelligent and enlightened being (that’s for sure gonna happen right?).
2.5 stars.
#49. The Loneliness Of The Long-Distance Runner. Alan Sillitoe. Short Fiction Collection. 3.0 Stars
First of all, can I just say, best freaking title ever. The cover is pretty awesome as well (the one above is pretty great, but not near as great as the version I was reading, I think it was the verison printed in 1987, which I cannot seem to find online). The two (cover and title) together was deadly for me in my “system for picking books” and then this first sentence: “As soon as I got to Borstal they made me a long-distance cross-country runner.” totally put me over the edge.
I love that sentence, I suppose it doesn’t look like much, but the simplicity and matter of factness of it, I just love it. So considering all of these things, and the fact that I already have romantic ideas about long-distance running anyway, I had my expectations up pretty high. I think that is one of the reasons I was ultimately let down. Additionally this book was loaned to me by Adam and I for some reason assumed it was a novel, but it is actually a collection of short fiction, which initially upset me, however this turned out to be for the best, because I really liked some of Sillitoe’s pieces, but fundamentally I found the title piece (Loneliness) to be pretty repetative and frustrating, and I was excited when it was time to move on to the next story.
I found Uncle Ernest, Mr. Raynor The School Teacher, and On Saturday Afternoon to all be quite good, and The Fishing Boat Picture to be heartbreakingly good. The Decline and Fall of Frankie Buller and The Disgrace of Jim Scarfedale were good and had great titles (Sillitoe has a way with titles I must say), but left me a little wanting. The Match, Noah’s Ark, and Loneliness I found pretty greatly wanting, but I suppose only Loneliness really let me down because I had just wanted so much to love it.
I often dream I’m a runner. Not that I am running, but that I AM A RUNNER. Like a great one. Like it is what I was born to do. They are incredibly freeing and wonderful dreams. However, the universe definitely put me in the wrong body for that…so either the universe likes a joke…or it’s just mean (probably the latter), because I will never be a runner, not in this body…even at a drastically different weight, I’m just not built for it. I suppose it’s not Sillitoe’s fault that I wanted his Loneliness And The Long-Distance Runner to fulfill some deep seeded running void that I will never be able to fulfill, but I’m damned if I could keep it from affecting how I ended up feeling about the title piece and in the end the collection overall.
However, even with my lost hopes and dreamlike runner expectations being shattered, the writing was still creative and interesting, and for its time it was particularly beautiful and probably aggressively new I guess, which is pretty impressive. The theme throughout the book was a very obvious Loneliness – more obvious in some stories than in others – and it was a haunting and sad read. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time to be trying to read this book…while the world around me is trying extra hard to be happy and joyous and filled with anything other than loneliness, but I had thought maybe that would make it the perfect time…
3 Stars.
#48. Water For Elephants. Sara Gruen. Fiction Novel. 4 stars.
I really liked this book, though I’ll be honest here, I can’t quite pinpoint why. It’s not really my “type” of book, if I have a “type” of book. I generally stay more off the beaten path, and rarely (never?) pick up a book that is a legitimate bestseller and have anything other than a frustrating and desperate reaction. But this was good. There was something beautiful and very much off the beaten path about it, but it was just accessible enough I think that it managed to mainstream itself, and good for Gruen. Good for us all. I wish we could do this with more great books, Water For Elephants is a great example of how to bridge the gap between really great books and what most everyone else is reading (i.e. NOT great books).
I had a few problems with the book, primarily I suppose was the issue that while Gruen told a beautiful and engaging story, I didn’t really feel I learned anything. The characters changed in the course of her book, it’s almost impossible for them not to I would guess, but I don’t know that I felt they “grew”, I didn’t feel the process, it was more just the exposition I suppose of what happened to the people in her story. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I think I would have liked the book even more if there had been another layer to it. Although, there was some mention in the author’s interviews/notes in the back of the book of a parallel with the story of Jacob (also the name of Gruen’s main character) from the book of Genesis in the bible. It’s been an age since I read Genesis so I’ll have to go back and re-read and see what I see. Ironically enough considering it is almost Christmas, no bibles have been lying around conveniently enough to pick up, that’s not too surprising though I guess considering I’m an athiest. When I get home I’ll crack my bible open and see if this is the layer I am perhaps missing in Gruen’s book, and if necessary add an update to this review.
I highly recommend this book for people who read a lot of mainstream literary fiction and I also recommend this book to people who generally avoid mainstream fiction literature like the plague. The story was fresh, well researched, interesting, and engaging. Overall a great and enjoyable read. Suitable for a beach read, but not inane in the way that beach reads often can be.
Hats off to you Ms. Gruen…perhaps you have paved the way for the rest of us.
4 stars (out of a possible 5).
I love this one…if only because it is just so damn true.
So here’s the business class/first class update (there was no first class on this flight, so business in effect was first class) and basically, I will never be able to go back to coach now, but I have some issues with the whole experience…come, let me tell you ALL about it. First of all, forget all the nightmare at the airport, while holiday masses snaked around an nightmare line waiting to check bags and such, I stepped up behind ONE guy in line and was done at the counter in less than three minutes, including wait time. My bag even got a little “business class” bright green tag and was one of the first, if not the first bag to come out of the shoot when I reached my destination. Even my bag flew better. Crazy.
The room for my giant (but shapely and attractive of course) ass, shoulders, arms, and legs was perfect, and if I could fix the airlines to my liking this is how everyone would fly, forget all the fancy bells and whistles, the seats would just be big enough to be comfortable for everyone and airlines wouldn’t understaff all their desks so none of us would have to wait so long. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t need the rest of it, all the extra service and doting, and in fact, knowing how people in coach are being treated (like chattle) it actually makes me uncomfortable.
I was offered a drink two times before even a third of the flight had finished boarding, and I was watching The Bourne Ultimatum before we had even taxied (however the hell you spell that). I was given a warm washcloth to refresh myself and was served a full (and surprisinly delicious) dinner complete with chocolate cake and as many drinks as they could possibly offer me. Are you serious?! Is this for real? It was actually embarrassing.
There is one equalizer, which I was actually surprised to find, though I don’t know why now that I think about it. Children. No matter how much money you pay, and how comfortable your seat is, you cannot insure that there will not be an annoying brat(s) sitting behind you that spend the entire flight asking inane questions and kicking your chair. I hated this kid. I have to admit she was pretty well behaved over all, but I still hated her and her ceaseless kicking and now, somehow magically empowered with the privlidge that my business class ticket had bought, I felt extra entitled to a “perfect ride” and wished for a business class that was “child free”. It also annoyed me that there are parents that have enough money to fly them and all their children Business Class…those are children that will grow up to be spoiled little brats. I flew coach most my life, and when I was a kid it didn’t bother me at all. It was exciting to fly there with my brothers, my legs had plenty of room, and so did the rest of me, it was a great adventure.
Really, if I could mold and shape the world to my demands this is what we would have:
First Class: All the rich and probably horrible people that need to have the ultimate comfort and be doted on from the time they arrive until the time they deign to depart. $$$$$
Business Class: Just what it says, Business Class travlers that are traveling primarily for Business (no children allowed here) and the service would be similar to FC, but not the ridiculous over the top doing. Nice roomy chairs and extra leg room would be the biggest perks, along with no kids allowed. $$$$
Adult Class: This would be like Business Class, the same comfortable size seats and leg room, and no children allowed, but none of the ridiculous unnecessary “extra services” like hot towels, and full hot dinners, and free alcohol. This is where I would choose to fly. $$$
All Class Plus: This would allow all passengers, including those pesky kids, but would be a more comfortable more roomy ride, with the same seats and leg room of the Business and Adult Class where people are not jammed together like sardines. $$
Economy Class: This would be our coach. A complete madhouse free for all, with people jammed three together in a row, with seatbacks that jam into your knees whether reclined three inches or not. This class however, would at least become cheaper and could actually be economic, because the airlines would be getting more money for the other classes, so while your flight would suck, as it does now when you fly coach, at least you wouldn’t be paying ridiculous fees for it – as opposed to the $900 Delta wanted to charge me to fly coach to Utah jammed next to two other people in my own personal hell.
That was the real reason I upgraded this time, had I been able to get a ticket for a few hundred dollars, I never could have rationalized the $1400 Business was going to cost me, but when I realized it would be less than $500 for a completely different, relaxing, non-injury inducing flight (last time I flew coach I hurt my back pretty badly the following day, and I primarily blame the stress and discomfort of that flight), I figured it was the best possible gift to give myself.
I shudder at the idea of paraphrasing a Cameron Crowe movie and Renee Zelleweger no less (the former for fear Adam will decide he cannot love me anymore, and the latter for fear I will not be able to love myself anymore) but here goes, “First Class used to just mean a better seat and a better meal, but now it means a better life”
It’s true and it’s sad.
Well, on that happy note…I hope you’re all kicking off your holidays right. We’ve got like eight inches of gorgeous snow here and I’m really glad I don’t have to go anywhere in it and can just admire it from the comfort of the couch with a hot chocolate. Please remember to check in next week if you get bored or need to escape the family as I’ll be posting comics all week.
Wish me luck…flying today! Good luck to all of you, especially if you’re traveling over the holidays.
See you tomorrow, with a journal comic fresh from Salt Lake City Utah (no, I’m not a mormon. Yes, I know that was what you were thinking. How do I know? Because that is the first thing that pops into everyone’s mind.)
My co-worker Jeff took some awesome pictures of the process which I’ve posted below. My hand has recovered a bit, but I know that doing my comics in advance of my vacation is what really put my poor hand over the edge. My parents don’t have a set up I am very familiar with, as in I think they have a scanner, but no photo editing software, so I decided to prepare all my comics prior to leaving for vacation, so that I can keep you, my 12 loyal readers entertained
Some of these aren’t translating very well to small photos, but I’m posting anyway. I’m also strangely missing a photo of the most important part – the hand applied wax seal after the card is folded! Use your imagination I guess
Card and Envelope.
Stack of cards, pre-folds
Love this photo!
This one is great too. Makes me think I’m working in a sweat shop…but it’s not that bad, really.
Need help with a creative and unique present for the holidays? Check out my great friend and amazing artist Rebecca Hahn’s Rotobee Shop, she has some really beautiful amazing stuff.
My favorite currently are her horoscope girl prints, a perfect gift for any girl that likes to know about her horoscope, even if she won’t admit it (me!).
My personal favorite (of course) is her Cancer print (pictured above), since that’s my sign, and since the beautiful Rebecca got my very Cancer perspective when designing it. Courtesy of Rebecca I have one of these beautiful prints at my house and can’t wait to get it framed and hung.
I urge you to check out her shop before all the best stuff has been discovered and purchased!
This is maybe the most true and accurate comic I have produced to date.
Sadly this year it means we will not be going anywhere for our anniversary (4 years!). The irony is that at one point or another we invariably manage to convince the other of our opinion, but at the same time the we have come around to their opinion, and so we still manage to be on opposite sides.
It is endlessly frustrating…and agonizing. Here we are trying to do something nice for each other and yet we simply cannot agree on the best way to do it. We have had some amazing trips in our lives (San Francisco/San Luis Obispo, New Hampshire/Maine, and Hawaii instantly spring to mind) but we may have to live on memories as it seems to become more and more difficult to agree. I suppose this is the (other) downside to trying to live harmoniously as two alpha personalities…we’re both “too strong” to just live peacefully together.
Read about why I’m doing this here and here…off we go!
075. Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
074. Mallrats (1995)
073. American Beauty (1999)
072. Philadelphia (1993)
071. Searching For Bobby Fischer (1993)
070. Blue (1993)/Red (1994)/White (1994) – I don’t care if it’s cheating…I’m putting them together
069. Requiem For A Dream (2000)
068. Closer (2004)
067. The Savages (2007)
066. Movern Callar (2002)
065. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
064. Brick (2005)
063. All The President’s Men (1976)
062. The Departed (2006)
061. George Washington (2000)
060. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
059. Away From her (2006)
058. Best In Show (2000)
057. Citizen Kane (1941)
056. The Color Purple (1985)
055. Out Of Africa (1985)
054. Traffic (2000)
053. LA Confidential (1997)
052. Irreversible (2002)
051. Swingers (1996)
I can’t really even believe this news. It’s just disgusting. I’m sure The Count will be out soon for being a VAMPIRE. And Big Bird will be out soon for being too tall and too yellow, and Grover will be out for kind of being an idiot (though one of my favorites), Bert and Ernie will surely be elimintated for being obviously gay, and if not obviously gay then possibly gay…which is of course just as horrible. I think we should all try (except comedians perhaps…we need something to be okay to be funny right?) to be as understanding and sympathetic and non-judgmental as possible in life…but Politically Correct has become a machine that just cannot be stopped. If there is ONE SINGLE FREAKING CHILD that has an eating disorder or I guess…”greediness” that can be traced to The Cookie Monster, and only the Cookie Monster, then I take all this back. But there is just NO WAY that is possible…it’s a freaking Muppet! Kids get their influences from all over the place and it’s more likely they are learning bad habits (oh my god the end of the world) from home and parents than from a muppet that doesn’t even exist.
Read more about all this nonesense here. And Gillian Anderson…I like you, but how dare you contribute to the removal of the Cookie Monster (in any way) by accepting the job hosting the new “improved” revamped Monsterpiece Theater sans the star.
